Silence

I am an introvert, married to an extrovert, and mothering two extroverts (Mattea is still a mystery, but  I suspect she may be more like her mama on the extroversion/introversion scale of being). I find that merely being in the presence of the kids and trying to be present for them exhausts me most of the time. This morning, we went to church as a family and the bigger littles went down to Sunday School without me (which hasn’t happened before). Mattea puttered quietly for a bit beside me in the pew, and then fell asleep. For the first time in 6 years, I got to hear a sermon from start to finish, sing all of the hymns without picking up cheerios, and listen during the prayers instead of grabbing kids by the ankles and dragging them out from under the pews. I revelled in the quiet this morning. I found myself feeling satiated as we heard the benediction, and released from the chaos in my mind as we took communion.

As the season of advent approaches, I am struck by a need for silence in my life. I  am more content and joyful when I have moments of gentleness and calm in my days. I try to find quiet amidst the chaos, but that doesn’t often happen in our home. As we amp up for the craziness of the holidays, I am really seeking ways to celebrate the quiet moments with the littles. Taking three deep breaths together before we share our thankful things at supper, taking listening walks in the woods, where we walk as silently as possible and try to hear the world around us, finding simple, peaceful ways to celebrate our family and the hope of the light returning to the world at Christmas.

Our advent calendar this year will be filled with beautiful but simple crafts to create together, intentional family time, and giving to those who need to receive. Still in the planning stages, I am excited to find ways to incorporate these moments of peace into each of our days together.

A stolen kiss

I’m not allowed to kiss him anymore, or he touches the place of kiss and “returns” it to me. So every night, after lying with him until he falls asleep, I sneak a little mama love.

A place of adventure

Our good friends came to visit last weekend from Saskatoon, and we had a great time. While they were here, we went for a walk that we had never gone on before, starting just one block from our house. It is a straight line walk, which is bordered on one side by the airport landing strip and on the other by about 60 feet of trees and then houses. There is a pile of deadfall which runs the entire strip (great for climbing and exploring) and a quad trail for those of us that just want to slowly meander by. It’s quiet and peaceful.

Walking with our friends, we found deer tracks and heard coyotes howling, and on the way home, experimented with shadows and streetlights and how they affect one another. We had to rush a little, because dusk was coming, and we hadn’t yet had supper.

We enjoyed the adventure so much that the next day, after our friends had left for home, we returned to our spot and continued to explore. This time we had as long as we wanted, and it took us about two hours to walk the two kilometres. We were impressed by the variety of plants along the way, and how beautiful they all are after they’ve died. I found some dogwood (I think), which is great for making baskets, and Elijah and India were fascinated by all of the different forms seeds and seedpods took, and how they stuck to mittens, jackets and pants.

Here are some pictures of our new favourite place.

 

What walk could be better than one which ends with visiting a 7 foot tall snowman?  It culminated in meeting a neighbour (sort of) who was taking advantage of the warm weather to do her outdoor Christmas decorating. We chatted with her, admired her ornaments, and even got to see some Grosbeaks, jays and chickadees feeding at her bird feeders. She told us that when it’s really cold she can get up to 50-60 birds at a time eating in her yard.

 

A little late.

Last year, Mattea and I participated in a Roots of Empathy program at our local elementary school. My friend Keri is the teacher, and although we homeschool, if I was to send my kids to school, she would be the teacher I would want. She is empathetic, and amazingly patient and kind to her students.

Anyway, as part of Roots of Empathy, Mattea and I went once a month (from the time she was 3 months to the time she was a year), and visited Keri’s kindergarten class. While there, the kids would watch Mattea and how she interacted with me and her environment, and they would watch for new milestones each month. We talked about learning through being loved, baby safety, how each baby is unique, how each of the students was at one time a baby, etc.

In between visits, Keri and her students talked about feelings, taking care of babies, and other subjects that would help them to see the uniqueness and variety in each of their classmates and themselves, and to value one another. It was a challenging group of kids with many strong personalities, but they really came to care for one another by the end of the year.

The Roots of Empathy program is available in many classrooms throughout Canada and is done with a variety of different age groups. It has been shown to reduce bullying, and to increase feelings of belonging and self-confidence for the students that participate. Mattea and I were honoured to be part of such a program. The students grow to love “their” baby by the end of the year. It was always so exciting for them to see us around the community, and we would hear them whispering to their parents that baby Mattea was over there.

At the end of the year, the students each drew Mattea a picture and wrote a wish for her. Here are some of their wishes.

I wish she pets an animal.

I wish you hope. I wish you a good life in your home.

I wish Mattea could do music.

I wish they have a good house. I wish Mattea could play the piano.

I wish you music. I wish you clouds.

I wish she likes her (new) home. (They knew we were moving).

I wish happiness and I wish fun.

I wish fishes.

I wish a place with music. I wish birds.

I wish good. I wish you good.

I wish that Mattea could play sports. (from the class tomboy…)

I wish they play games.

I wish you’ll come back.

I wish baby Mattea happiness.

I wish a hat.

I wish all, I wish fun.

I wish a happy good year.

I wish music.

So, to all of you reading this, Mattea and I wish you hope, music, and clouds.

Big P, Little P, what begins with p (part two)…

His name is Anikin (thanks to the 6 yr old star wars fanatic). He shall be called Ani. (Also the name of my  favorite musician, so it works out.) We hope he will end up better behaved  than his star wars namesake. The kids love him, the cat is tentatively aloof, and Navi (our other dog) is NOT impressed. He waffles between disinterested and growling, but I think they’ll be friends eventually. Ani keeps trying to get close to Navi and Navi growls until Ani gives up and falls asleep. Navi better shape up though, because this dog will be double his size within a couple of months.

Ahhhh…life with a puppy.

A Mama’s wish

She said “When they wouldn’t listen to me, I ran to the couch and hid my face so they wouldn’t see that my eyes were dripping.” My heart broke for her in that moment. How I would do anything to protect her from even the smallest of hurts.

Big P, little p, what begins with p?

Pictures.

A plethora of maze creativity

Pomegranates in pretty dishes.

A PLUS 12 day in November.

And…..

No, I’m not pregnant.

Halloween a little late

We had a great Halloween weekend. Special pancakes, pumpkin carving, trick or treating, and a last minute trip to visit grandma and grandpa’s new digs.

 

Aren’t those little white pumpkins cute? That’s what happens when you wait until October 30th to buy your pumpkins and the entire town is sold out. Luckily, we happened upon a free pumpkin carving event at the local car dealership, so the littles also got to carve their big orange “real” pumpkins.

 

He wanted to be a vampire…. luckily we had everything but the mask, which I bought because he hates wearing facepaint. Turns out he also stopped wearing the mask about 1/3 of the way through TOT’in because it was sweaty and smelly in there.

 

 

Little Miss was a “bwutterfly unicorn”…this was the simplified version of the costume she originally wanted, which was a butterfly unicorn spiderman ghost.

We drove down to Sylvan Lake to visit Grandma and Grandpa in their new home at Sylvan Lake. They came to visit for Sean’s birthday in August, intending to go home to the farm in Southern Alberta and live there for a long time. They left, applied for the caretaker job at Camp Kuriakos at Sean’s suggestion, and three months later they have packed up their farm, moved to a two bedroom trailer at the camp, and committed to living and working there for two years. We are thrilled to have them close by. We got to leave our house Monday morning, have lunch with them, sleep over, have breakfast and lunch, and be home in time for supper on Tuesday night. There is a gym, a treehouse, a lake, and acres and acres of glorious forest to explore. What a great place!

We spent a long time on our visit watching the birds at grandma’s feeder and identifying them. Black capped chickadees, jays, yellow and red breasted nuthatches, and some lovely downy woodpeckers. The birds weren’t at all shy, and come to the feeder even when we are standing right below it on the porch. We will be going back very soon for another visit.

bits and pieces of random

Some days I doubt unschooling, wondering if we are somehow cheating our kids of experiences they might otherwise have, wondering if we are making the right decisions for their lives. It is a weighty decision, whether or not to send kids to school, and it seemed easier in Saskatoon when I was surrounded by other people on the same path. I don’t think it is unschooling itself that I doubt, but perhaps my abilities to support three small beings with very distinct needs and personalities in their learning needs. I doubt my ability to be patient enough, kind enough, open enough to possibility. I doubt my ability to help them navigate yet another bout of sibling rivalry, or to inspire and engage enough.

But then there are days where we are all intrigued by life, excited by the passions beginning to unfold around us. The kids are motivated and I am present, focused on the process and not the end result. These are the days when I can say “yes” more and raise my voice in frustration less. These are days like today.

Today the kids…

helped clean the playroom

ate waffles with Dad

played polly pockets

played doll house (extensively…involving three different houses and an elaborate set up)

India painted a lovely watercolor picture for our new and improved playroom (the 14$ I spent on real watercolor paints are by far the best money I have ever spent on that kid for cost vs reward)

Elijah played lego

Elijah operated on India, taking out her eyeball, her bones, and giving her a heart transplant, all without anesthetic. She’s a good patient. He also casted her arm, which was broken, and helped her give birth to a baby boy, the first of twins which will be born a month apart because she grows babies fast.

They ate a lot of rice krispie squares.

They worked on their cardboard box airplanes.

They helped with laundry.

They ran a bakery and a restaurant.

Elijah started a puzzle, and set up a game using junior scrabble, mancala, and gnomes pieces.

Had an African supper, with peanut beef stew and Nisheema (a ugandan cornmeal ball). We ate authentically, by taking pieces of the cornmeal ball in our fingers and scooping up the stew with it.

Now they are playing with the neighbour kids, some sort of scavenger hunt game run by the seven year old from next door.

All of that, and I even got to go for a run. My first in a long time, and it was wonderful. I didn’t go far, but the leaves were crisp and the air smells like October and it was quiet and rejuvenating.

In other news…

We have been trying to get Elijah to do more reading to himself. He can read well, refuses to read out loud (except for at Sunday School, where he begs to be allowed to read for everyone), but rarely wants to sit down and read. So we have started a ritual that after we read together for half an hour at night, he gets to read by himself for another half hour. The bonus to this is that it also gives me  a half hour of quiet reading time, which is nice for the girl who used to read 2-3 books a week.

The other night he pointed to a word and asked me what it was. The word was blender. I told him the word, and then asked if he also needed help with the word before blender. I told him it was “titanium”, and a big grin spread across his face. “I knew it was!” he said. How can I begin to doubt the process of unschooling when he can read the word titanium without anyone ever “teaching” him to read? And isn’t it weird that the word titanium comes easily, but the word blender is a total mystery?

We are also working on writing. Elijah wants to write, but he gets frustrated because he can’t do it quickly and perfectly. He has been writing letters since he was two or three, but to actually string a bunch of them together into sentences or thoughts is overwhelming for him. Any ideas for helping a kid who wants to be perfect without practicing? He gets so frustrated when the going is slow, needs to spell everything perfectly, and gets bored easily. I wouldn’t care, except that he wants to be able to write.

We were driving to Hinton yesterday and looking for animals on the way. We saw a fox and a coyote, and when I mentioned that Sean and I had seen a bear on our honeymoon, India piped up “Oh yeah, because bears like honey.”

Also, Mattea is talking up a storm. (Or at least a few words.) She says a few normal words, like mama and dada. Otherwise, the words are quite random. Bum. Fetch. Purple. Puppy. Apple. It’s a lot of fun for the kids to put words out there for her to repeat, although they don’t really understand the idea of keeping the words simple, so it sounds like “Mattea…say underwear. Say rice krispie square. Say marble run.”

another heartbreak

we found out today that our friend Richard Reimer has a cancerous growth on his lung. Richard has been the Lutheran chaplain at the University of Alberta for many years, and has been a mentor and a friend. He walked Sean and I through our premarital counselling. He is a man who laughs and plays with the best of them, somehow tirelessly doing campus ministry for years on end. He is a lovely man, who quickly cuts to the chase when it is time to be present for someone in a more serious fashion.

Richard’s wife Dana is the woman who introduced me to amber (those of you who know me well know it is the only jewellery I wear), and is an inspiration of creativity combined with guts. She is very present in her physical self, embodying a sort of confidence that I rarely encounter.

please pray for them as they enter this phase of their lives together. if you aren’t a prayer, send a positive thought or two. and if you have any ideas of how to tangibly support people going through a medical crisis when they live in a different city, please feel free to share that in the comment section.