She came in whining and tired and he grinned big at her. She laughed and laughed.  7 weeks old and his infectious joy is already changing the world.

He stayed up late to build it, although he had to get up at 6 to drive to Edmonton. I wonder if they know what they have in this Dad.

So, in the beginning…

Melting snow and sunshine, hikes along the river and calling wild noises into hills to hear them echo back. If I could hold this day in my pocket, I would.

I lost my mojo. ‘Round about the middle of October, when I was 8 months full of baby and full of tired and full of cranky. The pregnancy was good, fairly easy, but in mid-October my back started to hurt and I was feeling done. So done. So we played on the internet and I just generally started doing the least possible to get through the days. No blog posts there then, because other than posting pics of my messy house and writing “Did nothing again today” there was nothing to be said.

On October 20th, we lost a dear friend to cancer. We grieved with his wife as she said goodbye to her soulmate, and sat back hopelessly wishing we could do more to help, but knowing that in the end, grief is a lonely, soul-wrenching journey. We returned from that funeral remembering to be more aware that life is fragile, guarantees of time non-existent, and that each day with a partner is such a gift. We decided to give babe to be our friend’s name as his middle name (Martin) as a way of honouring Martin’s presence in our lives and family.

October continued on, and we celebrated halloween with the littles. Candy was received, candy was surreptitiously disposed of by the mama (not all of it, but much of it…and no, I didn’t eat it), and candy was eaten. All of the extra sugar certainly didn’t help the kids to get rid of the colds they had caught in Saskatoon and which then held on until the week before Christmas.

Round about mid-November, my due date came. As did my Sean’s mom. She was coming to help take care of the littles when we went to Hinton to have the babe. Everything was ready, bathrooms cleaned, casseroles frozen, banana bread made, house decluttered…. no baby. We waited. And waited. And scheduled an induction for two weeks over my due date. And waited some more.

And FINALLY, at the advice of a friend from university, I let go. Realized that there was probably a reason my body wasn’t having the baby yet, and that trusting your body in birth also means trusting that body to know when to have that babe. And I let go. And went into labour within 2 hours of the conversation. Having mild contractions as I put kids to sleep, sneaking out and telling Sean it was time to go, driving to the hospital at midnight, thinking baby would come quickly this being number four. I laboured through the night while Sean worked on his knitting and texted friends, then I laboured through the day as well. This body that had Mattea in 6 hours start to finish was taking it’s sweet time. 2 o’clock came and went with no baby. Then this home birthing, water birthing mama had an epidural by her own choice, and it was relief. And Xavier Martin was born at around 5pm on November 27th.

And I fell in love.

And gloried in his perfect, healthy baby fingers and toes. And his perfect, healthy heart. And his beautiful self.

And so it goes.

And here we are, Christmas has come and gone.

New Year’s has come and gone.

Half of January has come and gone.

And we return to learning together (not that we ever stopped).

And laughing together.

And living together.

All the while waiting to see what the future has in store.

This morning I woke at four and found myself unable to fall back asleep. After tossing and turning for an hour, I decided to get up and grab some much needed quiet time in the house without kids needing me. I got up, showered, had some warmed up rice with cinnamon and brown sugar (yum!) and made coffee. I poured my hot coffee, sat down to drink it, and Mattea woke up. She often has nightmares in the early morning and sleeps restlessly for an hour or so, so I went to settle her back to sleep. She dozed off again after a cuddle and some singing and I went back to my coffee. I sat down and started my show and Mattea woke up. Sean brought her down to me and went back to bed, and Mattea and I sat on the couch together wrapped in her quilt.

She did not sleep. I could have been frustrated, or felt angry. Perhaps it was my exhaustion that kept me from feeling anything negative, or perhaps it was simply a moment of grace that a tired mama and baby needed. I turned on my salt lamp for a bit of gentle light, and we sang and watched the sky change colour together. Mattea, this baby who has blossomed into a comedian like her dad, who loves to make people laugh, who asks for huggle cuggles and says “Mommy, I gove you too much” as she is flinging her chubby arms around my neck. Mattea, who plays for hours by herself constructing elaborate fantasy scenarios. Mattea, who doesn’t often get my undivided attention because there are others vying for it constantly. She informed me that she won’t be able to nurse the baby because her “nickles” aren’t big enough, and that his nickname should be Pinky Winky, except when he poops, at which point we should add “stinky” to the end. We had a two and a half hour cuggle, her and I, and we laughed, and watched the wonder of another day begin.

And I was thankful, because there is no better moment than this.

We found distinct areas of the beach where certain creatures would live together. If we found a starfish in a pool, for example, there were bound to be many more starfish nearby. A sand dollar found meant there were most likely hundreds more slightly dug under the sand and many scattered on the beach nearby. I was walking through a tide pool at one point and heard a scuttling behind me and looked back to see five large pink crabs scurrying in different directions. I think it would be incredible to live in such a place where the shifts and changes of the seasons and ocean would always be bringing newness to your view. Everytime the tide goes in or out, the landscape is changed just a little bit.

The underside of a sand dollar. I had previously only seen dead, dried sand dollars, which are bleached white by the sun and have lovely designs on the tops that resemble poinsettas. These were always my favourite shells to find as a kid. Live sand dollars are actually a vibrant purplish-red, and have thousands of tiny cilia protruding from their bottom sides. They sit vertically in the sand and syphon tiny particles of food from the water around them using these wee tentacle arms. When you pick them up, all of the cilia stop moving until they relax again and slowly start to wiggle.

The purple round things in the stream of descending tide are live sand dollars.

A starfish with 13 arms. This guy was incredibly slimy, and slowly slithered his way off my hand as we were taking the picture. Again, with hundreds of tentacles on the bottom of it’s body, it was a really weird feeling to hold this one and feel it slime it’s way off with it’s arms curling towards the ground.

The same starfish looks alot prettier when it’s in it’s natural habitat.  (the following bit of info is shamelessly copied directly from wikipedia). I found the information fascinating.

There are about 1,800 living species of starfish that occur in all the world’s oceans, including the Atlantic, Pacific,Indian as well as in the Arctic and the Southern Ocean (i.e., Antarctic) regions.

Starfish are among the most familiar of marine animals and possess a number of widely known traits, such asregeneration and feeding on mussels. Starfish possess a wide diversity of body forms and feeding methods.

Most starfish typically have five rays or arms, which radiate from a central disk. However, several species frequently have six or more arms. Several asteroid groups, such as the Solasteridae, have 10-15 arms whereas some species, such as the Antarctic Labidiaster annulatus can have up to 50. It is not unusual for species that typically have five-rays to exceptionally possess six or more rays due to developmental abnormalities.

This is just the beginning of the information on these interesting creatures that can grow up to two feet wide and live up to 34 years old.  They were by far our favourite discoveries in the tidepools.

A collection of carpet starfish. These come in a variety of vivid colors.

A close up of an orange carpet star.

The underbelly of a carpet starfish. The jelly looking thing in the middle is it’s stomach/mouth. Some starfish will actually begin to digest molluscs outside of their bodies with their mouths until the mollusc can be drawn into the starfish body. The bottom of the starfish is covered in tiny little arms with suction cups on the ends of them which cling to rocks and other debris (the black things on the bottom)

A five armed starfish. The biggest one of these we found was about 18 inches across.

A large crab, mad at us because we moved the smaller dead crab that it had between it’s claws to get a better look. These guys are scavengers, eating anything they can find, including other crab.

The reason you don’t touch these guys with your fingers. They are really quick, and quite protective. You also wouldn’t want to walk into one of these with bare toes.

A closed up sea anemone. One pool we found had close to 30 sea anemones of all sizes in it. They were this vibrant pink colour, and when relaxed have many tiny arms that drift in the water. They are beautiful. If you touch them, they quickly pull all of their arms in tight and close into a harder ball shape. We watched them at times suck themselves right into the sand so that they were practically invisible.

As we begin another fall season though, I’ll be working harder again at capturing some of the bits and pieces of our days for ourselves to remember and for some of you to glimpse a moment here and there.

The summer was full of adventure, play and learning.

The kids rode horses at a camp in Southern Alberta, thus beginning a horse obsession for India that we are excited to explore in the coming months.

We camped in Jasper.

We went to kid’s camp for a week at Sylvan Lake and had our first “get your kid’s head glued back together” visit to the emergency room.

Elijah worked hard to conquer his fear of heights and learn to be a better climber. He now spends a lot of time on the outside top of our play structure as well as looks for every opportunity to climb. Inspired by his climbing friend Mateyo, Elijah has had to work against his natural nervousness to achieve this goal. So neat to watch the kids set goals for themselves and then work to accomplish them.

Our major vacation consisted of a three week journey to Haida Gwai (formerly known as the Queen Charlotte Islands) which we visited last summer and fell in love with. We did it differently this time around, taking 5 days of travel instead of 2 on the train, and camping and adventuring along the way. It was wonderful to have the time and freedom to stop whenever we saw anything interesting, and to break up the 1200 km drive with lots of exploring and laughter.

India chose a reptile to touch at the Prince George Science Exploration centre. She decided that this corn snake felt like touching butter. We learned that it is important to wash your hands before and after touching the reptiles to avoid transmission of diseases in both directions. We learned that the stick insects regularly escape their cages and are found throughout the museum in the mornings, and that a human will never win a staring contest with a bearded dragon.

We learned again how much we all love to camp, especially when the sun is shining and the loons sing you to sleep in your tent at night.

Enjoying the sunny 6 hour ferry crossing between Prince Rupert and Haida Gwai. The ferry is wonderful when the sun is shining and you can see for miles. We saw killer whales spouting and fish jumping, and met some new friends from Toronto who had lego along, which thrilled Elijah and made the time pass quickly.

We celebrated reaching Haida Gwai after five days of driving, ferrying and camping. India ran around excitedly saying, “This water really smells like the Queen Charlotte’s water.” We all enjoyed being back at the ocean again, and Ani (the big white dog) loved chasing sea birds and running full out on the beach.

Back to Grey Bay, where the sand is sandy and the waves were warm enough to play in. One of our favourite places to visit on the Islands.

Visiting with Captain Bill on his last day as a ferry Captain. The man has retired four times, and remembered us from last summer when we visited him on the same ferry. The kids loved being up at the control centre of the ferry and even got to steer the big ferry on the way back to Prince Rupert. This is the small ferry that takes passengers between the two main islands all day, every day. It takes about 20 minutes from side to side.

Watching the bald eagles is always entertaining. They land with such power and precision, and their landing gear is interesting to observe. It takes 5 years for a bald eagle to reach maturity (which is when they get the white cap on the head). Juvenile bald eagles are much more scraggly looking, with mottled brown and white feathers. Some hunt, some scavenge, depending on what their parents have taught them. Females are larger than males, and they generally live to be about 20 years old. They build the largest nest of any bird, which can weigh up to one ton.

Sean and his dad went ocean salmon fishing for a day. Lucky to have this experience, many pay thousands of dollars for such a chance. We paid some gas money for the boat. Our hosts were generous, as were the helpings of fresh Coho and Silverback salmon we heaped on our plates that night.

We explored the diversity of beaches on the islands. From great expanses of sand to rocky tide pools to smooth lava formations, the variety is incredible.

We marvelled at the beauty of overgrown old growth cedar and spruce forests. Everything green, lush, and rich. Walking through this area, one almost expects a pterodactyl to come swooping through the trees at any moment, or that any variety of large prehistoric creatures might emerge. As it was, on this particular day, the grass along the side of the highway had been mown, and on our 130 km drive we counted 151 black-tailed deer munching away at the freshly mown greens.

Hanging out at the Tow Hill Blow Hole with Grandma and Grandpa, watching the tide go out.

Awwwwww.

At the whale watching gazebo. No whales to be seen, but lots of fun rocks to scramble and climb, and we even found some fossils.

Eating fresh crab on the beach while watching the sunset. Not bad for a family of Albertans. Even Elijah, who REALLY doesn’t like the crabs, was able to watch as they were cooked (revenge you know) and try a little bite.

Stay tuned for another post on the wonders that we found while beach combing. A journey in and of itself.

Elijah grows crystals.

Corn starch and water, sun and the deck = a lot of messy fun.

Desperate for a belated spring, the girls make a wading pool surrounded by ice and snow.

India explores some basic still life drawing.

Elijah in his happy place.

Holding the 24 hour old chicks at our friends acreage. Mattea is sitting beside me as I type and she says “Remember when dat chick pooped on Lijah, and den it falled on the ground?” Indeed I do. Turns out that chicks bounce.

A bit of wrestling on the trampoline. Every. Single. Day.

And repeat.

Baking soda, vinegar, a pop bottle and a cork make a multiple use cork rocket (until you lose the cork or run out of vinegar.)

Dressing up with Ella, one of India’s closest friends. They dress up and put on elaborate improvised shows for us at the end of many playdates. The songs can go on for minutes at a time.

At the Calgary Zoo with the cousins.

The Pokemon obsession is still going strong, as Pikachu visits the Calgary Zoo.

Let’s make dandelion biscuits.

Value Village in Red Deer got us this $50 crazy forts building stuff for $8.

Our gentle Mattea turned 3. What a wonderful girl she is. She expands our capacity for joy every day with her whole body hugs, her “just one hundred kisses”, her “don’t you smile at me like thats.” She makes us laugh when she falls asleep at the table (as she did while eating her birthday Fruit Loops), and she loves puttering around the back yard. She’ll play for hours with any small people figures, or even with two carrots, making them have elaborate conversations about life. She has a vivid imagination. 

Elijah (with Sean along for comfort levels) was taking part in an animation workshop with a group of other homeschoolers, and the girls and I had our own adventures.

Elijah is not generally one for organized group activities, but this one included computers, cameras and animation, so he agreed to take part. He had a great time, and won’t tell me anything at all about the animation his group of three made because he wants it to be a surprise when we get the DVD in the mail. They learned about how long it takes to make an animated film (2-5 yrs) and worked for 5 hours to create their own 24 second video animation, complete with handdrawn setting, invented characters and plot. They named their company WEB Productions (W.E.B being the initials of the three kids in his group.)

Meanwhile, the girls and I took the LRT from Commonwealth stadium to the University (never has the train been so much fun as it is with kids amazed at speeding through tunnels and the underground stations.)

We wandered through a U of A art gallery with an exhibit of installations about pregnancy and female anatomy that was quite ethereal and whimsical. We then made our way slowly down Whyte Avenue, stopping to slide down slides, pick lilacs from the place I lived in University,blow dandelion seeds, feel the grass, buy celtic noserings at Rowena, eat face sized cookies at Second Cup (with a caramel corretto for the mama), and marvel at the smells coming from the many restaurants and incensy shops along the way.

We ended our walk at a fellow life learners house that I had met on the internet but never in real life. She has an 11 yr old, 9 yr old twins and 4 yr old twins. A busy, action filled life to be sure. We had a nice visit until Sean and Elijah came to pick us up, after which it took us an hour to get out of the city and two hours to drive home. A long, full day that helped us remember some of the things we love about the city (the lovely houses in the University area, the diversity, the hum of people out and about on a warm summer afternoon, the opportunities to do pretty much anything at a moment’s notice.) We were also reminded of some of the negatives (namely traffic…).

In any case, glad to be home, thrilled that Elijah enjoyed a group activity, and ready for bed. Too bad 2/3 of the kids slept in the van.

But, we are still here, still kicking, playing, laughing, fighting and loving.

Our days are filled with jumping on the trampoline, making baking soda and vinegar cork rockets, going to the park, playing Pokemon and collecting everything we’ll need for the new one. We’re staring early in hopes that everything can be thrifted or scavenged, since we got rid of everything after Mattea was born.

I’ve found a great doctor in Hinton (a big leap for me after having both girls at home with midwives, but midwifery services are simply not available in our neck of the woods).

I got to hear the baby’s heartbeat this morning for the first time, after a weird and somewhat disconnected first trimester I was relieved to hear it pumping strong. I find that each pregnancy I’ve had, I am more and more aware of the wonder of it all, and of just exactly how many things can go wrong. That first heart beat always feels miraculous to me, and works to counteract the effects of 9 weeks and counting of 24 hour a day nausea.

We are gearing up for another busy summer, with holidays and a week of camp, a family reunion and a few trips to the city, home days will seem a welcome haven in the midst of many adventures to come.

Enough news-i-ness. We shall now return to our regularly scheduled programming.