A new year

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Another year come, gone.
Kids are older, wiser, more capable of taking pause and seeing themselves from another’s view.
Avi is jumping, laughing, running, leaping, climbing, and grabbing life with gusto, determination and a new found independence.
Mattea is learning letters, sarcasm, and continues to play for hours in deep imagination.
India is reading, spending as much time as possible with friends, and sewing independently.
Elijah loves minecraft, magic the gathering, and reads voraciously at between 5-7 novels a month.

I am looking forward, looking to learn these things.

MORE yoga. Discovered it last January after attending a group class for the first time with a friend. LOVE it. Each weeks class brings an hour of refuge from my life’s chaos, laughter, freedom, and a sense of caring for myself that often disappears in the first year’s of a baby Bell’s life. I would like to commit more time at home to the practice of yoga, both for myself and the littles, as I find it such a balancing, calming activity. Learning to focus on here, and now. As life with these littles is fleeting, each day, month, year flying by in and eye’s blink…I want to breathe, treasure, and learn to be.

LESS sugar. Once again realizing that sugar affects my body like a poison, causing anger and exhaustion. Part of seeking balance in my life, as well as learning to take time to care for myself in the middle of each moment.

LESS fear. I often find myself caught in a vortex of fear and despair, for the future, for my children’s future, for the inevitable losses that one faces in a lifetime. The thing is that by fearing it, I don’t stave it off or change any of it, but lose the moments of grace and mercy that are here, right now, being blinded by the fear glasses.

MORE simplicity, LESS stuff. As always, my efforts to declutter our physical and mental space continue. In trying to strike a balance between having good quality supplies and resources for my wee ones, and trying to minimize the chaos of our counters and closets. The less stuff we have, the less time I spend organizing it, picking it up, cleaning it, etc.

MORE letting go. I want to let go of worrying about fingerprinty walls and dirty floors, not so we live in a mess, but so that I can let go and read a story, do a puzzle, embrace the lack of perfection while also embracing these fast growing wee ones. I have only two left who REALLY love stories, the bigger ones are too cool for picture books now, and I want to enjoy these years of couch cuddling and reading an entire bag of library books in one sitting.

MORE joy. I have CHOSEN this. This chaos is beautiful in it’s way. The noise teems with life, the mess shows that creative things have become reality. The cluttered kitchen counters speak of real food that takes time and effort to grow and cook. The half full plates speak of kids who are still learning to eat that real food, and don’t always like it. I want to remember that I have what many long for. A home full of life, passion, music, dancing, and learning. Friends who surround us with community and passion, learning and growth. Family who loves us enough to enter our craziness for days at a time and come back anyway. A solid marriage with my best friend. Soul sisters in different cities who replenish and listen. It is good here. Life is good.

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