1. The quiet in the middle of the night when puppy goes out to pee
  2. The way Mattea stands at the top of the stairs and throws herself into my arms to go down
  3. Christmas lights brightening the night
  4. The smell of the real tree
  5. An unexpected power outage with candlelight stories
  6. Fair trade coffee
  7. How Mattea wiggles in glee when I catch her banging on the computer keyboard
  8. Their excitement at opening the advent calendar each morning
  9. Days off
  10. Learning new skills (and farmer-in-law who helps teach them)
  11. Pine trees covered in snow
  12. Deer tracks on the sidewalk
  13. The butty-butt dance
  14. Senaya
  15. Siri
  16. Good friends who visit
  17. Tinsel
  18. Tradition (old and new)
  19. Quiet breaths before dinner
  20. Hearing their thankful things each night
  21. She tells me “I love you so much my heart could explode.”
  22. At the restaurant, he smiles and says “It’s good to get out for supper once in awhile.” He really is only six.
  23. A quiet moment to snuggle and exhausted baby
  24. Kids sleeping in their own beds
  25. Kids coming into our bed in the middle of the night
  26. A meal out with my favorite people in the world
  27. A puppy peeing…outside!
  28. The new couches that come tomorrow
  29. Health
  30. A simple outlook on life
  31. Staring contests
  32. Smiling contests
  33. Laughing contests
  34. That he is old enough to understand my stupid jokes, and young enough to think they are funny
  35. Tile in bright colors
  36. An almost renovated bathroom
  37. Laughter
  38. The way it feels when he kisses my neck (even after 11 years)
  39. Christmas cookies delivered to unsuspecting friends
  40. The thrill of rearranging familiar spaces in unfamiliar ways
  41. That I still have a baby to rock on Christmas eve as we sing carols
  42. The boundless energy of a puppy
  43. Family that comes to see us
  44. Gift packages from friends, including all the favorite things
  45. Silent Night by candlelight, with a toddler trying to blow out the candle
  46. Grandparents
  47. Missing the people that aren’t with us and how that makes me appreciate those that are
  48. KNit slippers that feel like old friends on tired feet
  49. The quiet
  50. A forest walk in snow up to my knees
  51. Walking the dogs on Christmas morning
  52. -5 and lots of snow
  53. Great toboganning
  54. Mattea being old enough that I can start to be out with the kids again
  55. The thrill of watching a baby go toboganning for the first time
  56. New words every day “hat, out, up, apple, bum, grandma, nose, NO!”
  57. The joy on their faces when they get the perfect gift
  58. Cuddling with a six year old on the new couches
  59. Cousins together again
  60. A good long sleep
  61. Christmas plenty
  62. Abundance of heart
  63. The way the whining stops when she latches on
  64. Watching Ani run through snow up to his shoulders
  65. Tye dyeing socks
  66. Finding the commonality in spite of the differences
  67. LIstening to Elijah and India chatter at the supper table
  68. Singing “Old Toy Trains” in the van….over and over and over
  69. Grandparents that work sooooo hard to connect and be with the littles, even when it’s exhausting and hard
  70. Stories from long ago
  71. Unexpected gifts from the church
  72. A tile mosaic
  73. Time to sit back and enjoy all of the preparations and what they yield
  74. A nice glass of wine shared with good company
  75. The coming of light to the world
  76. New games
  77. Kids old enough to play games
  78. Laughter
  79. Climbing huge hills of snow
  80. Playing
  81. The white on the trees as far as the eye can see
  82. Navi and Ani running towards me for treats on our walk
  83. The smell of Mattea’s head after she eats waffles and syrup
  84. The way she says “affles” and “up” and “out” and “mama” and “apple” and “goo girl” and “poop, poop”
  85. cuddling with India as I put her to sleep at night
  86. The lullabies we share
  87. Reading Christmas chapter books with TWO kids old enough to enjoy them
  88. The unabashed laughter of a baby, because of absolutely nothing.
  89. Hummus and fresh veggies
  90. How much pleasure India gets from cracking nuts
  91. Uh oh, from the mouth of a babe
  92. new friends
  93. amazing quiet places to let the dogs run
  94. hoar frost, icing every living thing within sight
  95. family walks in the warmest of winter days
  96. weeks filled with activity
  97. a visit from Gretchen, like coming home to the heart
  98. the joy he feels at a new game to play
  99. 13 hours of sleep
  100. Sean
  101. a spotless kitchen, cleaned by loving spouse, as a gift to me
  102. healthy kids
  103. Hannah’s ashes, and what reading her story has done for me
  104. connecting the trill with the bird who sings it
  105. a trip to Calgary to anticipate
  106. a community supper with members of the family
  107. this body that can run long distances free of back pain
  108. Mattea sleeping sitting up on the couch
  109. time with friends who feel like home
  110. the way people stop us on the street to laugh at how huge Anikin is
  111. fresh salmon and the friends who catch it for us
  112. singing Indigo with Jessica during her concert at Mulhurst
  113. running in the rain
  114. when I tell Mattea I love her and she looks at me and grins “and me luf yoooou”
  115. India and Elijah’s invented games
  116. kale in abundance, when all else in the garden is lost
  117. the warmth of the bread dough as I knead it
  118. when a tablecloth turns into a beautiful skirt
  119. fall cleaning that leaves the space feeling open and peaceful
  120. wabi-sabi
  121. a sweet husband who makes good meals for me when my legs are so sore after a long run that I think I might collapse
  122. fruit salad and ice cream for supper
  123. laying on the trampoline at night to look at the stars
  124. painting rocks on a monday afternoon
  125. free cookies at the grocery store
  126. breath
  127. the excitement of planning a new year of unschooling
  128. unschooling and the freedom that comes with it
  129. an impromptu field trip to the hardware store
  130. apples coming into season once again
  131. a big yellow pile of fur dog with a bad haircut
  132. blogs that inspire
  133. amber and the way it holds the light of the sun
  134. having to get up at midnight to add to this list because my heart is overfull with joy
  135. new games to play with the not so littles
  136. the way his hand is warm on my cheek as he finally falls into sleep
  137. the way her little body releases everything as she falls into sleep
  138. India “surprising” me with kisses and laughing hysterically
  139. a page full of hand drawn hearts filled with laboriously written “mom”
  140. beautiful melodies written by Jessica Heine
  141. good visits with family
  142. the chill in the air when the trees change color
  143. learning about Japan
  144. ladybug rocks
  145. watching their wonder as the world opens to them more and more each day
  146. finding ways to expose them to life beyond Edson
  147. peach crisp with vanilla ice cream
  148. an unexpected dinner out
  149. finding ways to choose friendship instead of judgement
  150. finding ways to let go of the need to be perfect
  151. grasping at now
  152. the moments when I can be in the moment
  153. Elijah
  154. India
  155. Mattea
  156. Sean
  157. listening to Elijah laugh from his gut when he really, really gets the joke
  158. watching the joy with which India explains just exactly why the joke is funny
  159. candlelight and that smelly oil that it warms up to make the house smell yummy
  160. abundance
  161. simplicity CHOSEN
  162. the flowing freedom of having less stuff and more time, and the direct correlation
  163. choosing to read a story and cuddle when the dishes are in the sink and the crumbs are on the floor
  164. laughter
  165. a partner who I trust absolutely
  166. hope
  167. unconditional love
  168. acoustic guitar
  169. “pinger” and “either” and “me not doing anything”
  170. today
  171. “Mama? know what?” “I wub you po much.”
  172. sweetness of Sean returning after days away
  173. unexpected visits from michael
  174. fall leaves
  175. carli-ann, mike and astrid’s lovely visit
  176. embracing possibility
  177. drawings given by little hands to mama’s hands
  178. national geographic videos on you tube
  179. Mattea having conversations with her carrots
  180. “mama?” “what?” “(s)tinks!”…uproarious laughter
  181. melted colored ice on the snow
  182. a warm day in the middle of January
  183. books to read while cuddling 7 yr old late into the night
  184. homemade granola
  185. unexpected gifts from a friend
  186. the safe house square from Natasha
  187. unexpected gifts from family
  188. time to savor life
  189. long days filled with nothing but spontanaiety
  190. learning slowly that the people who make the dirty floors are more important than the floors being clean
  191. we princesses will rescue OURSELVES
  192. when Sean goes away, I realize how much I love him
  193. grosbeaks at our feeder
  194. warm in the middle of winter
  195. sharing kid coffee with my five year old
  196. valentine’s made by little hands
  197. the possibility of life
  198. Gretchen’s wee peach sized baby
  199. Bryony
  200. Nan’s wee peace sized baby
  201. a return visit to the Queen Charlotte’s and all of the excitememt that holds
  202. the inspiration I get from other blogs to not feel so alone in this world of unschooling
  203. mom
  204. words of love from a father in law
  205. the pride in Logan’s eyes as he tells us we’ll have to ask if we want to hold Bryony
  206. India holding a puppy and being in her bliss
  207. India following babies around in public, at the pool, at church…. how she adores wee ones
  208. Krista
  209. Trish
  210. Natasha
  211. Adrianna
  212. Michael
  213. Erica
  214. Erin
  215. Sam
  216. Nan
  217. Gretchen
  218. Carli-Ann
  219. soul sisters all, and the ease of our reconnection
  220. memories of a rock wall in Mexico, watching the sun set
  221. this child at my elbow, asking me to read to her
  222. early morning time with my India
  223. late night time with Elijah
  224. family bed
  225. a husband who says yes, to them and to me
  226. Navi finding his playfulness, early in the morning
  227. Mattea grabbing my arm in a hug and saying “mine mama”
  228. the ridiculous forwards that tell me, quietly, that he does love
  229. the toblerone that he didn’t buy for me, and the romance of the not.
  230. the “it’s not made by slaves mama” chocolate bunny that she chose for me
  231. 4 1/2 hours of a visit that feels like a lifetime of friendship, although it’s only the second time we’ve met
  232. “silly mama, you said hunnybunny to daddy. You silly.”
  233. Nan, her growing baby, and a great chat.
  234. the reconnection that happens when friends enter a phase you have already experienced
  235. Gretchen and her growing baby
  236. a two hour visit with one who needed a friend
  237. a shared passion b/w brother and sister
  238. India learning to read
  239. the sounds of two sisters laughing together in the tub
  240. an igloo turned ice hill climbing challenge
  241. trampoline in the winter
  242. the idea, the inspiration to start a new group of mamas who hold their babies close
  243. affirmation that I might be the one to facilitate such a group
  244. a community of lonely folks who gather together in spite of their differences
  245. joy at the watching of these siblings, who, finding their way in the world, are also learning to value their relationships
  246. a quiet hug from Elijah, when the headache was getting the best of me
  247. “mama, I  tan’t wait to go back to de ocean” uttered at four in the morning
  248. living with them, each day
  249. the way i feel when i actually drink enough water and eat well
  250. and still, always, a cup of coffee
  251. a husband who gives up his hoodie for a cold wife
  252. being able to stay at Erik’s place for free
  253. an amazing pool to visit, complete with spray park
  254. Elijah growing in confidence, trying the waterslide all by himself, even though he’s a bit scared
  255. India leading Mattea through the science center gently by the hand
  256. Elijah letting Mattea push the elevator buttons and giving up his turn, because he knows she’s having a rough day
  257. that milky giggle of a two year old nursing and laughing at the same time
  258. this new community I’ve built for myself here
  259. the myriad of ways that  Sean shows love for me
  260. peaceful bedtimes with my India girl
  261. three days, three caramel correttos
  262. a new travel mug, in purple.
  263. laughter
  264. watching their delight as they watched the star show
  265. sea lion tricks at West Ed
  266. Erik, who blesses us with his presence, and his relationship with the littles
  267. that they were brave enough to drive in Uncle Erik’s truck, all by themselves, but together
  268. that we have enough extra to buy them little gifts, now and then
  269. making plans for Grandma’s birthday cake with India, for the gift we will give
  270. India
  271. Elijah
  272. Mattea
  273. a summer of fun and adventure
  274. a journey to Haida Gwaii, again
  275. the sticky bits on the keyboard that let me know how much they love the computer
  276. Martin
  277. Barbara
  278. coffee on a Monday with a friend who has lost her world
  279. a place to stay with someone who doesn’t know us well, but welcomes us all the same
  280. the potential of a cubs handbook
  281. a six year old learning to read, and the light in her eyes when things click into place
  282. Ella bringing paper flowers in a jar
  283. landing on my shoulders instead of my lower back when I fell down the stairs
  284.  a healthy pregnancy
  285. this little man who will come into our lives in the next two weeks
  286. Elijah and India getting along, some of the time
  287. Elijah passing his “swim in the deep end alone” test on the first try
  288. the way Mattea LOVES Sean with everything she has
  289. Mattea saying “onu” instead of “only”
  290. mom
  291. hearing my dad cry
  292. the inkling of potential to return to a beloved city
  293. possibility
  294. security of knowing Sean’s job is good until June
  295. a husband who is so giving of himself
  296. a wonderful trip to Edmonton with Krista
  297. getting to see Natasha and her family
  298. watching a friend be birthed into a mama, and the transformation that occurs therein
  299. a long, warm autumn
  300. new skills and abilities developing in my kids, and that I get to watch it happen
  301. a million red paper hearts, cut out and printed with the words “anno” and “mom”
  302. listening to them wrestle on the trampoline with Sean
  303. a friend who comes and walks the dogs
  304. laughter
  305. a good book and a warm cup of tea
  306. wool socks, given for Christmas, used all year for coziness
  307. decluttering, and the sense of freedom that it brings
  308. nesting, and the sense of excitement that it brings
  309. Amos company for Thanksgiving
  310. watching the littles hold the wee Amos, and seeing the light in their eyes as they see the wonder of “baby”
  311. the wee Bell, and how he moves in my body, reminding me always of the wonder of life growing in me
  312. the chance to honour a friend’s memory with the naming of a baby
  313. a quiet day when it’s needed
  314. hope for the future
  315. balance between work and play, rest
  316. Tien
  317. four beautiful, healthy littles
  318. the chance to watch them learn everyday
  319. an amazing homeschool community with lots of energy and personality
  320. a library story time program loved by 1, 4, and 7 yr olds alike
  321. a librarian who welcomes 1 and 7 yr olds in the four yr old program
  322. watching Mattea give me thumbs up in her Zumba class performances
  323. listening to India’s choir sing
  324. listening to my oldest laugh while playing Pokemon cards with his uncle
  325. and uncle who cares enough to buy Pokemon cards to connect with Elijah
  326. an amazing group of friends with passionate love for growing food, preserving food, and most importantly, building community
  327. friends all over the country, making many places feel like home
  328. Spring!
  329. The whiteness of a new covering of snow the day after Spring!
  330. Yoga classes with a yogi who makes us all feel comfortable in our bodies
  331. Feeling comfortable looking in a mirror
  332. Laughter
  333. A spouse who continues to change, and continues to love me as I change
  334. baby words
  335. our home
  336. having family in the same city
  337. kindness
  338. good neighbours
  339. breast cancer that is gone (mom’s, not mine)
  340. the garden boxes that are coming

3 responses »

  1. Okay you have really done it this time! Every time I come on here I bawl and seeing Senaya’s name on your gratitude list just about killed me!!!! All these new mom hormones. I watched Anne of Green Gables and cried over every nice thing Gilbert did for Anne!
    Missing you like Crazy Anno. Especially at Christmas. Soooo wish you could come over for tea and talk about nothing with me. Wish I could write more, but life is busy. It will get less so.
    love Tasha

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